What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?







































Get off of me homes.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?


































Not being retarded.

What is this? Amateur hour?? Get some new material man, the jokes on you.

i've got one- a mexican, a jew, and a colored guy walk into a bar





















the bartender looks up and says "get the fuck out of here"




wooo gran torino

Feel free to contribute your superior comedic verbatim and we'll see who gets the last laugh, you whore.

What do you call 300 white guys chasing a black guy?


























The PGA tour.

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?







































A white girl's ass!

Note: I decided to insert some reverse-racism flavor into this thread. Its more difficult than I thought.

wanna hear a joke about wheelchairs?
















christopher reaves.






whats the opposite of christopher reaves?

















christopher WALKen.....

whats helen keller's favorite color?

















velcro.

Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver?







































Because she's a woman.

Lying on her deathbed, a woman tells her husband of 60 years that he can finally open the chest at the foot of the bed, which had been off limits to him throughout their marriage. Much to his surprise, he finds three ears of corn and $100,000 inside.

"Why are there three ears of corn in here?" he asks.

"Every time I cheated on you I put an ear of corn in the chest."

"I forgive you," said the husband. "But what about the $100,000?"

"Every time I got a bushel of corn, I sold it."

What is the hardest part about rollerblading?

Telling your parents you're gay.

how do you get a retard to commit suicide?

















put a knife in his hand and ask him, "who's special?".

I like this one, but I do rollerblade occasionally, so I'm not sure how I feel about it.

How do you make a 5 year old girl cry twice?




































Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

For the record, you guys can use spoiler tags like aceshigh did.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my cock down your throat.

yeah, none of his jokes have been even remotely funny.... So we choose not to.

What is 12 inches long, has a purple head, and makes women scream all night long?

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Sudden YOU FAIL Syndrome.

Oh my god. This thread is epic.

Who shit in your cheerios?

Your Level : What's green and has wheels?


grass.



step it up.

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

ni$$ers

what do you call a black dude flying a plane?



a pilot, you racist fuck

The Pope, a boy scout, and Jessie Jackson were on a plane. The pilot comes back and says "the plane is going to crash. There are 3 parachutes, but one is mine" and he jumps out of the plane.

Jessie Jackson looks at the other two and says "well, I'm the smartest black man in America so I should get one" and jumps out of the plane.

The Pope looks as the boy scout, sighs, and says "well, you should take it. I've lived a full life and am content that God will take care of me. Go ahead and take the last parachute"

To which the boy scout replies "won't be a problem."

Puzzled, the Pope asks "Why?"

"Because the smartest black man in America just jumped out of the plane with my backpack."

Less offensive:

A guy walks into a bar and is immediately approached by this huge meat head who says,"I bet you I can chug a pitcher of beer, jump out the window, and come right back and do it again." Mind you, this bar happens to be in a hotel and is far from being on ground level.

The man says "SURE", and to his amazement the meat head chugs the beer, and jumps out the window. Five minutes later the meat head returns, and this dude is flipping shit.

"How the fuck did you do that man!" "that was incredible, I have to see it again!!"

Alas, the meat head pulls this stunt again and in another five minutes he's right back where he started.

The meat head explains that after chugging the beer, all the carbonation has a lifting effect on the body, and that anyone can do it.

So with this newly acquired information, the man chugs a pitcher and jumps out the window. He falls to his death.

The bartender turns to the meat head and says, "superman, you're a dick when you drink".

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about
psychology and explaining the phenomenon of "mixed emotions". The
husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap.
I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the
same time."



She said: "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis."